Plot

Abe Lincoln calls in some special agents (sorta like Ulysses S. Grant did with those fellas on “Wild, Wild West”, only not as cool) to sort out some shenanigans so the railroad can be finished. One of our heroes has a bandolier of special harmonicas that can do various things, mainly freeze people, animals, et cetera. The other has an alter-ego that is our title character, The Phantom Kid, who is more or less a pint-sized Lone Ranger sans Tonto. There’s a villain with an eye-patch, a gang of outlaws and a saloon gal who Ole PK falls head over spurs for. Your basic western formula with tots. Who sing. Lord, but do they ever sing. You know how they sing in “Bugsy Malone”? Believe me when I say that neither Scott Baio nor Jodie Foster had anything to worry about from these youngsters. I don’t think there’s a one in the bunch that could’ve carried a tune if they’d had one in a sack.
Nothing could be more charming and family-friendly than a western with an all-kid cast, right? Maybe. If they’d left out the saloon and the dance hall girls. Once you’ve decided that it’s okay to have kids tossing back rotgut whiskey and whoring themselves, that line has pretty much been crossed. Why they didn’t go ahead and cover the rest in squibs and go all Peckinpah on everyone’s asses is beyond me.

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